8 Resources to Help with Pet Loss Grief

I closed the door to Laurie’s home nestled in the trees, the empty cat carrier less heavy in my hand, when a host of emotions engulfed me. The lightness in my heart from foster cat Ivy finding a forever home collided with the anticipatory grief from days of waiting for her to leave and the actual grief from her being gone. I drove home, called a good friend, had a deep cry, hugged my husband.

I’m lucky. Ivy did not cross the rainbow bridge. On the contrary, she was settling into a happy life. “Losing” is part of winning when one fosters. I know that. But loss is loss, and Ivy’s adoption left a hole that needed attention.

My kids poke fun of my list making when I’m faced with a dilemma. There’s something soothing about the routine of pen on paper and the crossing off a completed task. Make a list I did—a list of ways to help others work through grief.

8 Quick Ways to Get Help

One of my go-to sites on Instagram is @petlosspsychologist. It is curated by Dr. Katie Lawlor, Psy.D., a grief psychologist. There are inspirational quotes, remembrances, celebrations, and information. That’s where I learned about “anticipatory grief.” It defines exactly how I was feeling about Ivy’s impending adoption after living four months in my home and birthing three kittens.

Dr. Lawlor was an advisor to the Pet Loss Community website and its co-founders Dr. Lisa Lippman and Dr. Monica Tarantino. Both are veterinarians who started the online platform to help clients feel less isolated by offering “support, encouragement, and a way through their pain.” You can work directly with a grief specialist and/or join a community of others who are grieving from pet loss.

The Association for Pet Loss Bereavement created the first-ever online chat room led by pet loss specialists. They continue to offer the chat room along with a Facebook group page, pet loss video support groups, support groups for veterinarians, resource links, pet loss grief specialist training course, and an extensive directory of services including animal chaplains, in-home euthanasia, pet cemeteries and crematories, pet loss counselors and much more.

Dog Time online media and retail shop hosts a series of articles in their reference section focused on grief related to dog loss.

Happy Dog Happy Human podcast is hosted by Sharon Vincuilla of the Human Canine Collaborative . While Sharon is a grief doula that can help you prepare for loss or attend to the grief from loss, she also produced two podcast episodes that address grief. What’s unique is that one episode discusses human grief. The other discusses the grief that animals experience from loss. She includes footnotes to the work she cites, so you can continue to learn when the podcast is over.

Speaking of podcasts. There is no shortage of people covering all sorts of pet topics, including grief. Episode 213 of Cattitude on Pet Life Radio specifically addresses grief associated with the loss of a feline friend.

Another resource for help may be your local university with a veterinary program. Closest to me is the University of Minnesota Veterinary Medical Center. Twice monthly, the social work services team hosts the Companion Animals Love Loss and Memories (CALLM) Support group for people experiencing pet loss.  Tufts University Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine staffs a Pet Loss Support Hotline. It is available Monday through Thursday, 6:00 to 9:00 p.m. Eastern time.

If you are struggling now, don’t wait. Please use the new 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988. It is a national network of crisis centers in the U.S. that helps thousands of people every day overcome crisis situations. They understand grief and how to talk to people experiencing it.

There's No Need to Suffer Alone

Grief from pet loss is real. If people around you don’t believe or support you, reach out to one of the resources above. Help is available for free or a fee, in-person or online, in a group setting or one to one. Talking with someone is a good first step in the healing process, especially when that someone understands what it means to lose a pet.