I tell you this story because I’m not the only one who wrestles with the pressure of living up to the standards of others or measures my worth by my work. In fact, heads were nodding in our little writing group as our leader shared the poem Productivity Anxiety by Rupi Kaur from her book home body.
Kaur writes about the fear of wasting time and worries about not producing enough. She puts off pursuing her dreams to chase external value. Along the way, she loses connection to those things that have the power to fulfill.
After reading the poem, our group leader provided a writing prompt before dismissing us to write in solitude. As she repeated the words, “I put off…,” the whiskered faces of Luke, Miles, and Boots flooded my thoughts. My fingers typed feverishly in response. This brings me joy when I read it, so I’m sharing it with you.
I Put Off.
I put off feeding my family because there were kittens in the foster room who needed to be fed. Young kittens slurping canned food make a sound like gentle rain on windows.
I put off finishing my report because the kittens in the foster room crawled on my computer. They swatted the flashing cursor and letters that appeared like black bugs on a warm sidewalk.
I put off posting my blog because the kittens were chasing the colorful strings I waved like a conductor’s baton. I had hoped to tire them but was failing.
I put off meeting my friend for coffee. The day was warm, and I knew the kittens would enjoy stalking busy chipmunks outside the screened porch.
I put off folding the laundry. The cunning kittens would jump into the basket and dart away with socks and towels as if they were prey.
I served dinner to my family in the screened porch. Luke hid a stuffed mouse under my feet. Boots lapped milk from my glass. Miles, always Miles, sat on my shoulder like a pirate’s parrot.
I conducted a Zoom meeting from the foster room as the kittens photo-bombed the camera and colleagues laughed in delight.
I filmed an Instagram story from the hallway, the kittens sprinting end to end, leaping over the cat tower, then tunneling through the empty oatmeal tube.
I invited my friend to join me in the foster room with her trio of children. Their shrieks bounced off the vaulted ceiling while kittens climbed their pants as if they were trees.
I asked my husband to help with the laundry. I paired socks and folded towels while he spun the kittens in the round laundry basket as if they were on an amusement park ride.
By putting off some things, I learned two lessons:
1. Sometimes letting go of what I’m “supposed” to do gives way to the thing I was meant to do. With it I gained fulfillment and connection.
2. Foster more kittens!
Curious about fostering cats or dogs? I’m happy to provide guidance!
1. Interested in exploring ways to live with less devotion to productivity and more time to fulfillment? Listen to this interview with Jenny Odell, author of Saving Time: Discovering a Life Beyond the Clock by the crew of the We Can Do Hard Things Podcast. One of my favorite metaphors Odell recited centered around a redwood in the San Francisco Bay area affectionately called “Old Survivor.” When all the other redwoods were prized for their lumber value, Old Survivor was spared the ax as a result of its perceived “uselessness.” That lack of usefulness proved to be the tree’s key to longevity. Perhaps we all need to be less useful to find more joy!
2. Take a nature break from a bird’s eye view. A curious red-tailed hawk was caught by a Minnesota Department of Transportation traffic camera overlooking a busy highway in Minneapolis. Many hawks perch on light poles, some with traffic cams, as they scout for rodents rummaging in the grassy shoulders.
3. Do you know a budding cook who would appreciate a thoughtful gift? Consider the House Creature newsletter by Taylor, former professional baker, Master Gardner, and a Canning & Preserving Consultant. She crafts tasty recipes, but my favorite parts of her work include her “equations” for cooking. Rather than providing specific quantities and ingredients, the equations are suggested quantities to mix and match what you have in your pantry with what you like to eat, helping you to customize your creations! Did I mention she’s a talented artist? I find myself wandering between her bi-weekly posts of House Creature (for paid subscribers) and Tiny House Creature (free) just to view her delightful drawings!
4. One of my favorite authors for young readers is Kate Di Camillo. I’m currently re-reading Raymie Nightingale. Di Camillo’s novels aren’t all rainbows and puppy dog tails. She tells truthful stories from a young person’s perspective, addressing difficult situations that many of us have experienced in our own lives – death of a loved one, divorce, abandonment, bullying…Di Camillo’s characters are rich in relatability. The settings diverse. Her heroes take journeys that lead to more self-awareness and confidence – traits we wish to impart to our kids!
5. Does your dog have rear end awareness? If you haven’t a clue what it is and why it’s important, check out this post on Instagram by Click Click Bark. Bethany provides two easy-to-follow games to help your pup increase balance, coordination, and confidence. Better still – use down time over holiday break to help your kids help your dog to learn.
6. My kids respond with laughing emojis when I text them something silly. Here are a few holiday-related jokes that will surely bring a few groans.
What did Santa use when he sprained his ankle? (A candy cane)
What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? (cookie sheets)
Why do you put candles on the top of the menorah? (It’s too hard to put them on the bottom)
What New Year’s resolution should a basketball player never make? (to travel more)
It may be my age. Or it may be my love of the underdog, but I do fancy a dignified second chance for elderly animals down on their luck. It’s why I recommend following Grey Face Rescue and Retirement on social media and supporting their cause. Grey Face is a foster-based organization, meaning all animals in their program – whether in hospice or being fostered for potential adoption – live in homes. Grey Face also provide social services to community members to help them help their pets. These services include free microchip clinics and hosting of the MN SNAP mobile spay/neuter veterinary van. Check out their $5 Fridays. The more you give, the more they can give!