Consider How You Communicate Before Getting a Pet
“Cuuuuuuute!” squealed my young daughter. “It’s a white kitten with yellow eyes! Please, mom, can we adopt her? Pleassssssssssse?”
“Yah, mom, please?” begged her sister. “We’ll take care of her.” A plan already brewing between the schemers.
You might ask, “What did you expect by bringing two young girls to a Petco adoption event?” Fair enough.
Part of me wanted their hearts to fill with joy from donating the large stack of pet beds they’d sewn.
Another part was hoping they’d join me in my campaign to adopt a senior cat, stacking votes against my husband’s wish to be a one-dog household (while truly feeling a bit poorly about pitting my kids against my husband).
The real question is, “Where was my adult self, the one who should be leading by example and communicating?” If I’d had the hindsight acquired from fostering dogs and meeting many different types of families, I’d ask my pre-cat self the following:
Why Do You Want This Pet?
Have You Asked Your Family Members What They Want?
How Will Mental Health Challenges Impact a Pet?
Better yet, I’d let my younger self read what I learned through trial and error.
Ask Yourself “Why” Before Getting a Pet
Honesty with others starts with a hard look inward. I never stopped to ask why I really wanted a cat, particularly a senior cat. By failing to reflect on my own wishes, or to give heed to my husband’s, I was easily swayed by the pleading of the girls.
We walked out of Petco with a white kitten, Sunny. The golden-eyed creature left a trail of mustard-yellow diarrhea in the cardboard carrier during the drive home. Did she sense my unease as I schemed ways to hide her in the house while slowly breaking the news to my husband? There was no sneaking her into the house. The stench gave her away.
Sunny lived in her “safe room” for one week. The first thing she did when allowed to explore beyond the girls’ bedroom was to jump into my husband’s lap. I exhaled a long-held breath of relief when he began to pet her. After that, I vowed to communicate better – for the sake of our relationship and the animals in our care.
Photo by Harli Marten on Unsplash
Ask Household Members for Their Input Before Getting a Pet
Soon after Sunny’s adoption, I started calling “family meetings” to give us a forum to talk. My kids would roll their eyes. My husband would groan. Try as they would to look perturbed, they liked the gathering on the roomy, tweed sectional that gave them a voice.
I wish I’d seen this article before we started getting together. How to convince parents to get a dog (rescuedogs101.com) It would’ve helped my kids and me become better negotiators. It has many great talking points and conversation starters for families thinking about getting a pet.
One of our foster dogs, I’ll call him Grayson to protect his first adopter, wasn’t the recipient of such communication. He went to a home with an elderly woman and her caretaker daughter. The mother so desperately wanted a dog. The daughter wanted peace with her mom.
I re-rescued the small shepherd from the distraught pair twelve hours after leaving him with the smiling family.
Under the realities of the situation, the daughter’s needs percolated to the surface. She realized she had no capacity to care for her mom and a dog. She confessed she’d known it all along but didn’t know how to tell her mom, nor did she look forward to her disappointment.
Discuss the Impact of Mental Health on a Pet
Clear communication is something most families work on over time. Add in mental health issues, and communication challenges may increase.
The best-fit adopter for Lizzie, a ten-pound senior dog, had received glowing recommendations from her veterinarian. Her canine training website was rated 4.9 out of 5 stars.
Imagine my shock when my follow-up phone call to the adopter was met with a stream of obscenities lobbed at me and threats of physical harm targeted at Lizzie.
The woman’s husband, choking back tears, apologized for their dishonesty. He was hoping the therapeutic characteristics of a pet would calm his wife’s fits of rage that had developed with her rapidly advancing dementia.
It’s true that animals can be great therapy for people. Diane Rose-Solomon captured the beauty of the human-animal bond in these short videos available through Watch Our Films | Animal Magic Films
Unfortunately, not every household situation will enhance an animal’s life. Some may be harmful to a pet.
Communicate and Debate Before Getting a Pet
Before considering a pet for your home, be sure to look inward first, then engage other people in heartfelt communication.
Think deeply about the answers. They will lead to clues about your readiness to get a pet. Imagine just how loved your pet will feel when everyone welcomes her into your home!
(Image of lynx by Vicki Hamilton on Pixabay