I'm the Only Substack Writer to Reach this Milestone!

I wonder if I should be happy or sad.

E.R. Ramzipoor, with a perfectly coiffed undercut and thick, round glasses bounced at the front of the Loft Literary Center class, attempting to radiate positivity through a series of slides foretelling the realities of book  publishing. The mood emanating from the class packed with eager writers could have lifted and drowned and lifted and drowned a crab boat in a perfect storm.

I listened intently when they happened upon a slide depicting a graphic illustration of an inverted Leaning Tower of Pisa. “Each of these layers represents the publishing process from writing to querying to editing to publishing to contracting and touring,” E.R. exclaimed. With a chuckle earned from firsthand experience as an author, they zoomed into each wicked layer littered with grotesque creatures, boiling vats of blood, and piles of bones. It was an adaptation of the Circles of Hell in Dante’s Inferno with “success” in the publishing industry leading to eternal damnation.

I knew it was meant to add a bit of levity, but I wasn’t laughing. Not after hearing how one should expect to write 100 to 200 targeted query letters before attracting the attention of a literary agent for my memoir. Could they be serious, I pondered. That one question sent me down a rabbit hole of research to better understand if what I’d heard was true. Sadly, it was. I was now armed with “appropriate expectations” for my publishing journey, including more classes, more consulting,  more query letters, and more effort to build my “platform.”

Shortly into the month of April, I received an email from Substack. “Congratulations, you’ve reached 100 subscribers!” it exclaimed. Attached to the email were images I could use to share my success on social media. I posted one to Instagram and sent a Substack Note with another. I called my kids to share my news. “That’s fantastic,” Anna exclaimed. Mia reacted with, “Woohoo!”

The following day, instead of happy news, I awoke to a 2-paragraph email starting with, “Sounds intriguing” but ending in, “Unfortunately your work does not align with what I’m seeking to represent.” It was query letter rejection 100!

I thought of John Batiste and American Symphony - a whiplash documentary of heart-wrenching sadness amid the greatest triumphs of creative success. I thought of Dr. Becky Kennedy and her book Good Inside where the early pages layout the premise that “two things are true.” It’s the idea that there can be multiple realities at once.

My 100 subscribers and my 100 rejections were my two concurrent realities.

Unless one of you proves me wrong, I am the first in the world to achieve 100 subscribers on Substack in the same 24-hour period as receiving my 100^th query letter rejection. Should I raise my hands in celebration or drown my sorrows?

The old me (like last week old) would have said sorrows. Instead, I’ll settle for my new Zen attitude thanks to Dr. Chan Hellman, the renowned hope scientist. I’ll revisit my goals, pathways, and willpower, adjusting what I need and celebrating as I go.

I still have hope – hope that the next 100 query letters will result in success before I throw in the traditional-publishing towel. I just hope I reach 200 Substack subscribers before I reach 200 query rejections, and certainly not on the same day!

Here are a few posts that readers have enjoyed because they’re sprinkled with hope.

A Love Story for the World’s Best Dog

22,000 Acts of Loving Kindness

Is Anna a Bad Banana?