The Mental Health Professional with the Tangled Forelock

Horses know when you are piling on the sh#@! That's why they make great therapists. Plus, read about traveling trees, cat behaviorists and helping pets of the unhoused.

Photo by Boys in Bristol Photography

“Here. Give Honeybun this treat,” said Dr. Steve, gently laying a crunchy biscuit in my pre-teen daughter’s open palm. Honeybun snorted as she sniffed Anna, grabbing the treat with her tickly lips. Anna giggled. Steve gave her another treat. He then instructed Anna to turn away from the roly-poly pony and walk around the riding ring. As she did, Dr. Steve began to engage with her. 

“Anna, what is the name of the horse you ride?” “What is your favorite riding memory?” “If you could have a horse of your own, what kind would you want and what would you name it?”

Her answers were peppered with laughter and excitement. Honeybun walked close behind, her eye on the prize in Anna’s hand.

Dr. Steve changed his tone.

“Anna, tell me what was bothering you when you yelled at your dad in the restaurant?” “Can you remember why you didn’t want to invite classmates to your birthday party?” “Why did you call your sister stupid?”

Anna’s brow furrowed and eyes darkened as he peppered her with questions that raised difficult emotions. Her comments were short, dismissive. She wanted us to believe she was fine. Honeybun thought otherwise. She turned quickly from Anna and retreated to the other side of the paddock. Anna kicked at the dirt with head hung low.

Dr. Steve returned to asking happy questions. Anna relaxed. Honeybun ambled to Anna and nuzzled her palm. Anna uncurled her fingers. Honeybun slurped the treat.

Laying a peppermint candy in Anna’s hand, Steve turned to our family of four while a soft murmur of pleasure vibrated in Honeybun’s throat. “See, it’s as easy as that. Talk to me calmly and honestly, and Honeybun will follow. Let your anger drive your behavior, and you’ll drive Honeybun away. No different than with people.”

During those weeks in the dusty paddock with Honeybun and Dr. Steve, we learned that while horses were domesticated by people, people have never been able to stop horses from reacting as prey animals. They remain highly sensitive to the emotions and behaviors of potentially threatening creatures, including humans. Their survival instincts make them perfect therapists. They see beyond the walls we build. They sense what we feel deeply inside. You can’t hide your emotions from a horse. But you can learn to manage your emotions and responses!

Many years later, I still think of Honeybun when I reflect on the paths that helped us address our teens’ anxiety and ADHD. The dusty pony with peppermint breath was the key that opened the door to effective in-office family and individual counseling.

If you, your kids, your partner, and/or your family are facing mental health challenges, don’t suffer alone. Therapy sessions with a horse may provide a bridge to discovery. I know our lives were forever changed by the chestnut pony with a tangled forelock!

1.     The Equine Assisted Growth and Learning Association (EAGALA) website explains the philosophy behind equine assisted psychotherapy and where to find a program in your state. If you’re driven by curiosity but are afraid of horses, rest assured. Therapy sessions are done on the ground and guided by trained professionals. You won’t be saddling up Saddie. (You may, however, become hooked on horses and want one of your own!)

2.     Need a gift for an adventurous cook but you’re budget is not so bold? My favorite cookbook of all time is Amy Cotler’s One-Pot Vegetarian Dishes. Its filled with a wide array of soups, stews, pastas, and skillet dishes that crisscross the globe. The recipes are clearly written, taste fantastic, and one pot cooking means simple clean-up. (Our family favorite is Indonesian Green Beans and Tofu in Peanut Sauce. Yum!) Amazon has “used” copies for $0.96 and “new” starting at $10.47 (+ shipping).

3.     Which scenario keeps you awake at night; dog nails clicking on the wood floor or the thought of trimming your reactive dog’s toenails? You’ll get a good night’s sleep after following these tips on scratch board training from my favorite dog trainer, Bethany, at Click Click Bark.

4.     Strange but true “…plants and animals are moving 11 miles north and 36 feet higher in elevation each decade in response to the changing climate.” That may be why the forests, prairies, wetlands, and lakes you knew as a kid may look and sound different today. In a story by The Nature Conservancy, there are two important ways we can protect against the loss of nature and things dear to our heart. One is to provide uninterrupted corridors for plants and animals to move in response to climate change. The other is to preserve their future habitats. Read about this fascinating science in Natural Highways and Neighborhoods: Conserving a Network of Climate-Resilient Lands.

5.     Forget Black Friday. “Shop Small” on 11/25 instead! This map by American Express allows you to enter your zip code or the zip code for the area you’re visiting to find small businesses and restaurants nearby. I typed in my location and was amazed to see businesses I didn’t realize existed and could be useful, especially in this season of gift-giving.

6.     Got a “naughty” cat? Get a new perspective! Hire a certified cat behavior consultant to help with problems like biting, litter box issues, compulsive meowing, and destructive scratching. Cat behaviorist are like dog trainers. They help you to help your feline friend live in a human world. I referenced the Class Act Cats blog many times while fostering our recent momma cat, Ivy, and her litter of three. Joey Lusvardi breaks down geographic barriers by offering in-person (Minneapolis, MN area) and virtual consultations.

I’m giving thanks this Thanksgiving holiday to the mighty forces, most of them volunteer, behind The Street Dog Coalition. Street Dog is a national organization with clinics in more than 60 cities across the United States. Staffed by volunteer veterinarians, vet techs, and people greeters the clinics provide free preventative veterinary care to the pets of people experiencing, or at risk of, homelessness. I’m especially excited to share a recording of a recent Street Dog podcast featuring Dr. Laura Ziegler Gurda with whom I’ve had the privilege of volunteering shoulder to shoulder to vaccinate pets and trim toenails! (I did the paperwork. She did the vet care!)

To be good is not enough; a man must be good for something. - Henry Ford