Dear New Pet Parent, Don't Be A Mike Teavee
Be the opposite of a movie brat if you want to bond with your pet.
Imagine if you will, you’re Mike Teavee in the Gene Wilder version of Willie Wonka. Your toes start twitching when you see the car-sized chocolate bar whiz through space and reconfigure into a regular-sized confection. You dash to the platform of the Wonka Vision machine shouting, “Look at me!” with intent to be the first human shrunk by the contraption. Mr. Wonka, exhausted by whiney, entitled children rolls his eyes and deadpans, “stop, don’t, come back,” then proceeds to zap you into a Polly Pocket. Your mother, aghast, plucks you from the transport monitor like a wriggling mouse, stuffs you into her purse alongside used tissues and sticky coins, and snaps the opening shut. A pair of Oompa-Loompas escort your mother to the taffy pulling machine in an effort to restore you to normal stature.
All this is to say that every pet – cat, kitten, dog, puppy, rabbit, guinea pig- who is adopted, purchased, or given as a gift undergoes a journey like Mike Teavee. Their life was one way one moment. Then they are plucked from what they know into a new reality.
Even if the animal’s past life was terrible, the situation you offer is no better until proven otherwise. The food is different. The water smells funny. The noises are unpredictable. The people have changed. Safe places and routines have vanished. Kittens and puppies are no longer connected to a protective mother and playful siblings.
While you know your intentions are well-meaning, the animal, knows nothing of the sort. Take a breath. Be the opposite of Mike Teavee. Place your new pet’s needs ahead of your own.
BE PREPARED. Fear can drive normally relaxed dogs and cats to bite, scratch or hide in unsafe places. Resident pets may attack new pets viewed as a threat. Young children may treat a new pet as a toy rather than approach them with learned respect. All introductions to new people and pets should be short and supervised, adding additional time only when everyone becomes more comfortable with the change.
GIVE THEM SAFETY: Animals need a dedicated place to feel safe from indoor “predators” like adults, kids, pets, and loud noises. Provide a comfortable spot for your new pet to observe the routines of your home where they can dictate how much interaction they wish to have. Indoor crates are perfect for dogs. Bedrooms and bathrooms are excellent spaces for cats. Pocket pets will need separation from cats and dogs to ensure they don’t become prey for indoor predators.
HELP THEM ADAPT: Animals are not humans, yet they are expected to live alongside us as if they are. Teach them rules and expectations the same way you help kids and teens learn. No need for dominance, just gentle, consistent guidance.
STICK TO THE SCHEDULE: The old wives tale may say that food is the way to a man’s heart, but healthy, tasty meals provided on a predictable schedule are a major on-ramp to a pet’s trust. So are other predictable routines, such as potty breaks, walks, and playtime.
BE PRESENT: Every good relationship is built on a foundation of togetherness. Groom your pets. Talk to them. Put away your phone. Watch them closely to understand their personality and needs. Just like kids, pets blossom with attention.
CHALLENGE THEIR BRAIN: Pets are like adults who thrive when given a variety of enriching emotional and physical challenges. Hide treats for your cats to find when you leave for work. Teach your dog tricks and take them places outside your home. Make tunnels and climbing spaces for mice and rats.
SELF-CARE: The stress of parenting pets can be similar to parenting kids. To focus attention on another being can zap you of mental and physical energy. Care for yourself like you would in the event of an airplane emergency. Put your oxygen mask on first. No one is going to thrive if you don’t.
BETTER BEGINNINGS
The journey of welcoming a new pet into your home is a delicate dance between patience, understanding, and respect. Like Mike Teavee, who found himself in a world vastly different from what he knew, your pet is adjusting to a reality they didn’t choose. Take the time to see the situation through their eyes. Offer consistent care. Provide space and time to adapt. With kindness, patience, and commitment, you’ll find a path to a happy, fulfilling bond.
NEWS YOU CAN USE
IMPULSE VERSUS ACTION. Who better than a psychologist with a reactive dog to provide help to people and pets? Check out Chloe Ackerman’s story Wait on the Dog Lover’s Guide to Feeling Better. We learn through her dog, Pants, the importance of “wait” as a life- saving command for dogs and life skill for humans.
LIVING FORWARD. If you’ve ever wanted to stay in the past but were pulled to the present while losing track of time, you will empathize with Jeanne Grant’s story of Usa, Brittany, and Ande in her newsletter A Good Spot. Jeanne writes about her journey through pet loss grief while wrangling two foster puppies. Oh, those ears!
BOREDOM BUSTERS. Clicker training for dogs. Yes! But for cats? A recent post by Minding Mittens, Can You Teach an Old Cat New Tricks?, provides an overview of clicker and sound training for your feline friends.
INSPIRATION: There are many reasons why nearly 164 million pets live in U.S. homes. Not only do they provide companionship, they often provide inspiration. For three women their pets weren’t just companions- they were the spark that ignited a fire. Read more on the recent edition of PetStack: Women Inspired.
FINALIST. It’s not a major award but a recognition that my story rose to the top among the Dog Writers Association of America judges. You can read 22,000 Acts of Loving Kindness on my Like People, Like Pets site. Keep your fingers crossed on February 8. That’s when the winners will be announced
WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING
The story, Is It Cruel to Abandon a Pet, stirred quite a buzz.
So wise and well said. As you know, we adopted a new dog in November. The first three days were ridiculous. The next three weeks were slightly less ridiculous. We're looking forward to the three-month mark. As they say, the three benchmarks for adopted dogs is 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months. We can already see her settling in but we all have a way to go. Yet, every week is a little better and when we look back, our whole experience with her is dramatically better than just a few weeks ago. In our minds, we know we're good pet parents. She knows nothing about that or us. Time, patience, consistency.
Cindy! Thank you so much for featuring Dog Lover's Guide! I really appreciate it.
This article is spectacular, and so needed. When I adopted my first pup Sammy, I picked him from his old family up at a park, stayed one night at my boyfriend's house, stayed another night at friend's house, and then finally drove him three hours home to my house. He was SO frightened and overwhelmed. All my pictures from his first few days are of whale eyes and stress yawning. I had no idea what I was doing. If I could go back, I'd take him straight home and follow your article to a T.